I'm Out of Tears to Cry
by Lady Hydra
Summary: Haruhi finds herself unable to cry any more. No more tears to fall, no more heart to break. No more love to go to waste on people who just hate. Language, lemony-limes in later chaps. Almost a poemfic, but not quite.
1. Chapter 1

-0-

_I'm out of tears to cry._

_Living without you has been the worst thing I've ever experienced,_

_But now that I think back,_

_My life with you wasn't all that great._

-0-

The door swung open, and behind those doors were the beautifully adorned Greek gods.

"Welcome, my goddess- oh, it's just you, Haruhi," Tamaki said, gracefully stretching out his hand. Haruhi breezed right by him and went into the back changing room. The twins stood up from their chairs and sauntered to follow her.

"Oh Haruuuuuhi! We have the prettiest togaaa for youuuu!" Kaoru called after her.

"Oh Haruhi stop! Don't get undressed just yet," Hikaru snickered as soon as they were out of sight.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!" Tamaki yelled, bolting out of his seat and around the corner.

No sooner than her going in the back to get changed, she emerged from the changing room arm-in-arm with the twins. Tamaki's jaw dropped.

"You... no way... you two DID NOT JUST CHANGE IN THERE WITH MY DAUGHTER!"

The twins' faces went from cheery to scornful.

"Milord," Hikaru started.

"Have you ever changed in the changing room?" Kaoru finished.

"Uh..." Tamaki paused.

"You two know that Haruhi is the only one that frequents the changing room," Kyouya interrupted. "You all know that us males don't really need privacy to change."

"Exactly," the twins said simultaneously. "So none of you have ever exactly been in the changing room."

"No," all the guys in the club replied.

"Well there's a chamber for dressing and a chamber for the ones waiting," Hikaru explained, smiling.

"And while she's dressing we wait in the other chamber," Kaoru finished.

"Behind a curtain," Hikaru added.

Tamaki blushed furiously, and went inside the changing room to inspect.

"Well there is a curtain," his muffled voice sounded through the door, "BUT SOMEONE COULD EASILY PEEK THROUGH IT!"

The twins were already out the door.

-0-

"Hani-sempai!" Haruhi shouted as a flying child tackled her.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan! Will you eat some cake with me? Mori has kendo practice and I can't find Usa-chan!" Little tears formed at the corners of his eyes.

"Don't worry Honey-sempai," Haruhi said, ruffling his hair, "I'll help you find your Usa-chan." They began searching the music room, underneath the tables, the chairs, the couches.

"Here!" Haruhi called, lifting up the stuffed rabbit. "Usa-san was hiding under this couch."

"Thank you Haru-chan!" Hani hugged her leg tightly, laughing. "I'm so glad!"

Haruhi set the bunny down on a chair and Hani sat opposite of it and began scarfing cake. Haruhi shared a smile and proceeded to sit down at another table and study.

After about ten minutes, Hani had finished three cakes and was thinking hard for some reason.

"Haru-chan?"

"Yes, Honey-sempai?"

"Do you love Tama-sempai?

Haruhi blushed as red as a tomato. "Never. Who would ever love an idiot like him?"

Hani hopped out of his chair and tottered over to Haruhi. "Haru-chan, I think you need to try to be honest with yourself. You're blushing! Doesn't blushing mean you like someone?"

She began to laugh, half out of nervousness, half out of embarrassment. "Honey-sempai, I guess I do kind of like him. I don't know why, I just do."

Honey smiled widely. "Okay!"

Haruhi took a deep breath and turned back to her papers. That's when the doors banged open.

Mori flew through the door, his kendo suit halfway on and his sword clattering into a chair by a table. He proceeded to walk over to Hani and pick him up and carry him out the door like a potato sack. Haruhi stood up abruptly at the loud noise, her chair falling and smacking onto the floor.

"What's going on?" she shouted at Mori's retreating back.

Kyouya stepped through the door and put on his best grimace.

"It's Tamaki."

-0-

The six of them stood outside the grand estate, and Kaoru was the one who ventured his hand and rang the doorbell.

Immediately they were greeted by a legion of maids and butlers at the door. They parted to make an isle way for the members of the club to walk down. The first butler shook Kyouya's hand grimly.

"He's been waiting for you. Master is upstairs in his room."

Kyouya nodded. "Thanks." He turned and walked upstairs, the rest of the group trailing behind him.

They slowly opened the door to reveal a dark and cold room. The curtains were drawn, blocking out the vibrant sunlight outside. Even Antoinette, his dog, was nowhere to be seen. Hikaru flicked on the lights.

Laying there in the center of the bed, wrapped in at least a mile of bloodied bandages, was Tamaki.

His voice came out cracked and raspy. "Hey guys. I'm glad you could come see me for the last time."

"What? Last time?" the club choked out, shocked.

"Yeah. After the accident, my grandmother and dad decided unanimously to send me to France to live with my mother."

"But... your grandmother hates your mom! Why would they-" Hikaru started.

"Even though my grandmother absolutely despises my mother, they agreed it would be logical for my well being. It's a great place to recover from a full body injury like this. Plus, she apparently made a deal with my grandmother. I'm not allowed to know about it."

"What happened anyways?" Haruhi asked, feeling stupid. "Nobody told me anything?"

Tamaki frowned slightly. "I was hit by a truck."

"WHAT? How?"

"I was crossing the street because the limo couldn't find a parking space on the sidewalk and nobody was in their cars for my driver to bribe to leave. I had to cross the street and for some reason a truck wasn't aware that I was there. I got hit."

"Didn't you look both ways before crossing the street?"

"Um..."

Haruhi ground her knuckles into her forehead. "Don't your parents teach you basic traffic safety rules?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"So rich parents teach their kids that traffic will yield for an insanely rich child?"

Everyone nodded.

"This world is soooo fucked up," Haruhi cursed.

A wheelchair appeared at the door with two maids attached to the handles.

"Tamaki-sama, we're afraid your time with your friends is up. It's time to say goodbye," the maids said in perfect unison.

Tamaki grinned gravely. "Sorry guys. Guess it's time to go." He attempted to sit up, but fell back painfully into his bed.

Immediately four more servants appeared and helped him gingerly out of his bed and into the chair.

The twins hugged him for a moment and then retreated. Mori patted him on the head.

"Don't go Tama-chan!" Hani said, hugging him closely.

"Ow," Tamaki said, laughing slightly. "It's okay, Honey."

Kyouya shed his grimace and gave him a small hug. "I don't usually do things like this," he said, blushing.

"I know," Tamaki grinned. The maids began to wheel the chair out the door. Haruhi just stood there, dumbfounded. Tears sprang out her eyes involuntarily as she raced after the wheelchair.

She started down the stairs, the wheelchair was already out the door. She ran through the parlor, Tamaki was being loaded into the car. She threw the doors open, the car was driving away.

"WAIT!" Haruhi shouted after the limousine. "I!" She looked down at the ground, tears bitterly rolling off her face. "I... love you," she whispered.

-0-

~L.H


	2. Chapter 2

-0-

_Everyday I think of you_

_Everyday I'd like to think it gets harder_

_But it just gets easier to forget you_

_Because there's not a lot to remember_

_-0-_

"We must elect a new king!" Hikaru and Kaoru said in unison upon entering the music room. A few heads nodded in agreement, while Haruhi gazed off into the distance from her couch in the corner. Kaoru leaned over to his twin.

"She's really, really, really heartbroken..." Kaoru whispered into Hikaru's ear. Hikaru glared at his feet.

"I know. I don't know what to do," he said lowly, blushing slightly. He clenched his teeth. Seeing his brother's pained face, Kaoru's brows knitted in worry and he brushed past Hikaru to go talk to Kyoya. Hikaru turned his head to watch his brother closely, but the two were just out of earshot and he couldn't read what his brother was saying off his lips. He dropped his head and closed his eyes in defeat.

.;.

Haruhi clenched the pants of her school uniform until her knuckles turned white; she stared at the ground as the tears fell from her eyes. Inwardly, she cursed Tamaki.

_You had to leave_, she thought. _You had to leave, just when I'd figured out what I wanted._ She glared out the window and slammed the shutters closed. It was too damn sunny outside. She was busy trying to be depressed.

She thought of all the nights she'd wasted on him, all the hours into the night she'd sat on her bed, thoughts swirling through her head as she tried to straighten out her true feelings about Tamaki. It seemed to her that whenever he breezed past, whenever he glided along the floor to greet her, her heart plummeted flights of stairs and Tamaki caught it on a velvet cushion. She'd never been truly in love before, so after all the time she spent pondering and thinking and deciding that she was in love with him, Tamaki just went up and left her the day after she decided what she felt. She fucking hated him.

_Damn you, Tamaki. I swear..._ The tears were flowing now, rushing out of her eyes and running down her cheeks. _I swear, if you ever come back..._

The condescending look on his face as he ducked away and left... the way he didn't even say _GOODBYE_... her anger was coursing through her veins. It took all her power not to punch a wall until her knuckles bled.

Then the tears stopped. They halted, all at once, as suddenly her anger left her. It all pulled away, like a riptide, but it did not return. She looked around herself, thinking slowly about the thought that had just crossed her mind.

_I... probably won't see him again_...

For some reason, this had the completely opposite effect than the other furious thoughts she had housed- it was a feeling of chains being broken, cages being open, breezes rolling through... it was a feeling of bliss... a feeling of freedom.

_No more controversy, no more drama, no more lost hours of sleep, no more... Tamaki... no more Tamaki, no more Tamaki!_

Haruhi's lips pulled into a grin, wider than she'd ever smiled before. She gazed off into the distance with the stupid grin fading from her face as she finally had once last thought.

_He wasn't really as significant as my mind played him up to be... was he..._

;,;

Now that Haruhi had dropped Tamaki for good, the host club, for some reason or another, took it upon themselves to find Haruhi a boyfriend. After a week of deciding and voting, Kyoya was elected the new king of the club; not everybody was too eager to start up the club again, though. As soon as they opened up a while later, their customers were cut in half; most of them were looking for Tamaki, and were disappointed when they were informed he was gone for good.

"Uh... Haru-chan?" Honey said to her one day, fidgeting slightly. Haruhi looked up from the book she was reading.

"What is it, Hani-sempai?"

"UM..." His cute face was scrunched up as he tried to figure out what to say. "Do you like anybody?"

Haruhi rolled her eyes, whipped her head around, and glared at the rest of the club who was hiding behind a couch, eavesdropping.

"Guys, I don't want a boyfriend right now. Okay? Get it? I don't like ANYBODY at ALL WHATSOEVER."

Hikaru dropped below the couch, disappointed. _Dammit_, he thought. Against all reason and pleading from his brother, he stood up and blatantly walked out of the room. Kaoru, completely shocked, turned around and called after his brother.

"Hikaru! What are you doing? Come back here!" he somewhat pleaded. Hikaru threw his hands in the air.

"Forget this shit," he said flatly to nobody in particular. He slammed the door behind him. Kaoru face-palmed himself, stood up, and quickly ran after his brother.

After the twins were out of the room, Kyoya calmly stood up and walked over to Haruhi, sitting next to her on the couch.

"Haruhi, we don't want to pressure you into getting a boyfriend or anything, but we really think it would be good for you to try to get over Tamaki. He's not coming back," he said gravely. Haruhi nodded in affirmation.

"I know that," she said. "I don't want him to come back. I'm totally fine if he stays wherever he is forever." Kyoya's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Yeah, I know, it must sound weird. I just... don't want to have a boyfriend right now. They make things complicated. _And _I'm still trying to keep my scholarship to this school," Haruhi added. "Having a boyfriend will probably do nothing but hamper me." Kyoya nodded.

"I understand, Haruhi. I understand. Okay, you're fine by me, but I don't think everyone else understands as well as I do," he said, jerking his head towards the door that the twins left through. Haruhi sighed exasperatedly.

"Do I _have _to?" she asked.

"I'm not going to force you, I can't really do that," he said. "But it would be the right thing to do. Both of them don't know the truth. Especially Hikaru." Haruhi lazily stood and walked out the door to go catch up with the twins.

.:.:.

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" Haruhi called, wandering through the halls. She looked around corners, down corridors, up and down stairs. Finally, almost giving up, she walked outside. Sitting down, backs up against the wall of the building, sat Kaoru and Hikaru. Hikaru's face was resting in his knees, and Kaoru was looking concerned, comfortingly patting his back. Hikaru shrugged it off.

"I don't give a fuck," he said roughly, his voice slightly muffled through his knees. Haruhi cringed- she really pissed him off, didn't she? She awkwardly approached the two, and as she got closer, Kaoru saw her and slowly stood up. He walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"You can tell me what's up later, I'll understand," he said into her ear softly. Afterwards he walked around her and back into the school. Haruhi cringed again- she'd be all alone with Hikaru, and if he overreacted, what could happen?

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Haruhi approached Hikaru and slid her back down the wall so she could sit beside him. "Hey," she said softly to him, not really knowing what to do. Hikaru turned his head ever so slightly to face her; one eye made itself visible from his knee.

"What?" he said, sounding annoyed. He turned his head so that his face was completely on his knees again. Haruhi sighed again.

"Hikaru, I'm sorry if what I said hurt you in any way..." she started awkwardly. Hikaru was silent. Mustering up as much courage as she could, she tried to talk again. "I just... um... uh..." Failing miserably, her tongue tied itself into knots. "I..." Then she thought for a moment. Something sounded wrong with her sentence-starter. There was something wrong with the 'I.' Looking harder at Hikaru's slouched form, she remembered Kaoru's pained face as well. Something was wrong with the both of them.

"Is... is something wrong that you can tell me about?" she asked. Hikaru grunted. Trying to comfort him as well as possible, she ran a hand up and down his back. He stiffened.

"Well..." he started slowly, debating whether or not to tell her, "It's... difficult to say."

"You can tell me," she soothed, still running her palm up to his shoulder blades and down his spine. She felt his back relax.

"Okay," he decided. "Fine. So... my p-parents are... b-beating Kaoru..." he stammered. "And they're... they're... they're neglecting me," he said. "They don't pay any attention to me, they don't even help me. They took away our maids and refuse to feed me," he said, his voice wavering and cracking. "They've stripped me of all my money and... it's horrible Haruhi," Hikaru finished somewhat. Her eyes were the size of dinner plates.

"Wh-what?" she asked disbelievingly. "I met your parents! They seemed nice to me!"

"That was until... until they started fighting over the money," he croaked. "Ever since then, they've turned insane. They decided that Kaoru and I, we shouldn't be helped by their money at all. We just get a place to sleep, but they downgraded our room too- we don't even have a bed anymore. Just the hard floor and a blanket to share. The only clothes I have now are my underwear and my school uniform, Haruhi. I don't have anything anymore..."

And then her arms were around him. His heart stopped.

"Ha-Haruhi?"

"You have me," Haruhi said firmly, decisively. "You will always have me."

,;,

~L.H.


End file.
